Did someone just nervously or tentatively confide to

you that they have vaginismus? Well congrats you Safe-Space-of-a-Human, you’re a trustworthy son of a gun.

Go ahead and give yourself a big ole pat “well done” on

the back. Now get ready to be a really supportive friend:

Stacie Stine has lived in New York for over five years and has found the shoes she can't live without when it comes to walking long distances in the city. She recommends these shoe brands for your 2024-2025 travels!

Upper West Side lifestyle content creator, Stacie Stine, blows bubbles in Riverside Park and gives advice to her 25 year old self. She believes it's important to learn how to play the long game in your twenties and thirties.

Being naked is so much more than just being naked.

If I was Carrie Bradshaw, I think this tagline would really resonate with the women of New York City.

But I’m not Carrie Bradshaw. I’m, laughably, the complete opposite of Carrie Bradshaw.

I’m a woman in her thirties living in New York City, who has only had sex with one man, writing about how sex can be painful, and how having Vaginismus means showing up in the bedroom might be intimidating, scary, and lonely (whether you’re a Carrie or a Stacie).

For me, morning pages are Unfiltered. No prompt unless I’m wanting a prompt. Morning pages allows me to write lists of what I need to do. It allows me to process through the argument I had with my husband the night before. It allows me to explore ideas or thoughts sitting on the edges of my mind. It allows me to get more in touch with my feelings instead of avoiding them. Morning pages are not about perfection and for a recovering perfectionist, that’s so so refreshing. It allows me to connect my thoughts to my creativity to my relational life to my spiritual life. It’s a big dump of thoughts before I begin my workday. And I love what it does for me and for my own sanity and clarity.

I’m in my mid-thirties and have loved fashion for so much of my life, but I think for the first time ever, I’ve realized I’ve finally figured out how to navigate fashion trends. And I want to share with you how you can also say yes or no to fashion trends so you can feel confident about what you add to your wardrobe, knowing those pieces you buy will stay with you for a long time.

The past few days have been humid and sweaty in New York City and I can feel spring slowly slipping away from us. A few weeks ago, I attempted to write an ode to spring while the first arrests of the protests on campus started happening in the middle of my writing. And reading back through this, I’m reminded that sometimes we just write to remember the wonderful and the difficult.

What are some things you write simply to remember?

This feels like a special talent I didn’t go to university for.

I call it my Celebrity Radar.

I’ve got two lists: The first is celebrities I’ve seen as I’m out in the wild going about my every day activities. The second list, is celebrities I’ve seen in shows.

And if you know me, you know I have a pretty big rule: I don’t talk to them unless they talk to me. I think it’s an unspoken rule for local New Yorkers not to talk to celebrities. But for sure it’s my rule.

A few weeks ago, I set up a quick self-portrait shoot with myself. I wanted it to feel vintage and parisian (hence the beret). And I didn’t want to spend any money to make my photos look filmy and as if they are from another era.

A few months ago, I took a look at all my home design pinterest boards I’ve pinned over the past ten years and started to pick out common themes on all my boards. What kinds of living rooms did I pin frequently? What kind of rugs do I pin frequently? What kind of pillows did I pin frequently?

Turns out, when you start to pick out commonalities, you really start to nail down your style a bit more.

I’m a mid-century modern gal who also has a flair for funky designs and baroque.

Once I figured out my colors and my style a bit more, I started looking for pillows and curtains that would compliment the green couch/white wall/natural wood situation we already have.

I truly believed that. I really felt like I was the problem. Because trying to have sex really hurt. I felt as if I was the reason he didn’t get to have “real” sex. I was the problem. And I needed answers and a fix. ASAP.

Mostly, I felt as if our wedding vows had rushed in to test our new marriage. Would we love and care for one another in this unexpected and immediate valley?

What I couldn’t see then, through all the intrusive, chaotic thoughts I was having, is that we actually had a great honeymoon. And we actually had some really beautiful intimacy. It was different from what we expected, but it was fun, sacred, and we were still wildly into each other. While some might argue we didn’t consummate our marriage… to me, we did. 

I was a virgin when I got married at 23. 

I went to the gynecologist because I wanted to go on birth control a few months before having sex for the first time.

I remember being so nervous for this check up. My hands were shaking and my armpits were sweating. I’d never had anyone prod around down there and I had no idea what this visit entailed (I’ve always thought it would be nice for gynecologists to have a “Is it your first time?” pamphlet for women so they can know what to expect at their first appointment— same for therapists too). 

We’ve got a lot of commercials for women around Period Products and Birth Control, but if painful sex or Vaginismus is so common in women, I wonder why there aren’t more treatments for it getting marketed to us? Why can’t we also have commercials assuring us our lives can be normal, our sex lives can be great, and we don’t have to have fear or shame surrounding Vaginismus?

Probably because vaginismus is overwhelmingly a secret. And the idea of having painful sex is often ignored (or women are told to just endure it).

I remember going into my hotel bathroom after trying to have sex unsuccessfully and painfully— looking at myself in the mirror, letting real disappointment show on my face instead of the facade I’d put up in front of my husband… I stared at myself and wondered what was happening to me. All of a sudden I dreaded the thought of going on a honeymoon. 

But what was wrong with me? Was sex always going to feel so painful? Would we ever get it in? I was so excited, how could I be failing at something I was excited to do?

Did you know you can decide whether you want to jump on a fashion trend or not? I wish someone would have told me that when I was trying to find my style in high school and college. While I think you should jump on trends that excite you, I don’t think you should jump on trends just because you’ll feel left behind if you don’t.

If you are visiting NYC (or eloping here!), you can guarantee we’ll be eating doughnuts at some point.

As far as we’re concerned…

• Saturdays are not for brunch… they are for donuts.

• Traveling… is simply a tool for discovering where the best donuts on the planet are hiding.

• Holes are only meant for donuts (lol, I can’t keep a straight face while typing this one, if you aren’t reading this with dry humor, I’m sorrrry).

Just a few vintage meets modern Valentine’s Date night outfit ideas for those of you who like to get dressed up and go out on the town!

I was living what felt like a passive life— letting life go by while I watched it, hoping to wake up to it enough to live it, but just couldn’t figure out how. There was so much I wanted to do, but it all felt out of reach. And that is what I like to call— being stuck.