How to Give Intentional Compliments + Encouragement to Others
Did you know it’s National Compliment Day?
Lately, the internet hasn’t felt like a place I’d go to to feel complimented, uplifted, or encouraged— but today, on my little corner of the internet, I thought I would encourage you to do what Amanda Gorman encouraged Americans to do a few days ago— to see light and be light. And this week, I’m consciously considering how I can verbally encourage those around me.
Firstly, if I could rename National Compliment Day, I would probably name it "National Encouragement Day"-- compliments are nice (I especially love giving strangers and friends compliments on their outfits because I live for a good outfit), but encouragement oftentimes says, "I see you and I'm here for the long haul to keep cheering you on". Compliments say, “I saw you do this thing and it was cool, byyyyeee”.
To me, encouragement is a heart matter and compliments are based on positive performance. And most days, I need encouragement when my performance sucks. Maybe it's just me?
Anyway, here are a few ideas for you!
A few ways to encourage your friends or family (maybe even strangers) verbally:
You are seen in this hurt, friend. I can’t fix it, but I see you and am sending virtual hand squeezes.
I see how you are [fill in the blank] to those around you and it encourages me to do the same.
You inspire me to [fill in the blank].
Consider how to actively or tangibly encourage others:
I think a simple way to love or encourage someone is to ask them how they need encouragement this week. Take the guess work out of it! You could even just ask them what they need- someone to listen? A meal? A coffee? Someone to point out all the great things in them?
Take time to write out all that your friend, spouse, parent, sibling, or co-worker has done for you or others this year and encourage them by telling them how much you appreciate how they’ve shown up. Give them the list you wrote or have someone artsy fartsy write out the words all pretty-like.
Are you the one in need of encouragement?
I would LOVE to encourage you to let others know when you need encouragement. Let a trusted friend or two know how you need to be encouraged or how you are feeling discouraged— ask them if they have capacity to encourage you. Asking for encouragement is not a bad thing or a sign of weakness. Sometimes we don’t even realize it’s a need we need met. Sometimes our people, our home team, they just need us to let them know where we are at.
For my own creative purposes, I picked a certain person to encourage—- my husband. Maybe this week you can look around you and see who might need a pick me up and spend some set aside time encouraging them?
What are ways you like to encourage others? What are ways you like to be encouraged?
