Enneagram 9 | Three Steps to Living a Healthier Life by an Enneagram 9
My outfit: Shirt is from Loft (similar here), Skirt is from old Madewell, Hat is Gigi Pip, and Shoes are Lotta from Stockholm
Today I’m sharing three steps I took to positively move through this world (wearing many hats) as an Enneagram 9.
I’m hopeful these steps are helpful for any Enneagram 9 out there who feels discouraged, on auto-pilot, or unsure how to get out of the nine funk.
Before I dive into the three steps, you need to know, I took the enneagram dive about two years ago and ever since, have been significantly challenged and changed for the better. I was down on myself, feeling always stuck in a rut, always procrastinating, or feeling as if I was living a life I didn’t want to live— and so many questions about why I lived life so “frustratingly” were answered through the Enneagram.
I felt as if I was seeing myself in an entirely new (and helpful) light. Not only was the enneagram pointing out my many road bumps and struggles, it was helping me consider how I could positively respond to the very triggers and thoughts about myself that trip me up.
If you're an enneagram 9, or know one, I'm sending all the virtual hugs. 9’s are so chill and that's the best, but we fight so hard to stay awake to this life. We are constantly asking who we are, what it is we want, and considering whether or not we can show up to being present in tension, hard moments, and conflict.
If you need a quick refresher for the typical 9 struggle, I’ve summarized one below:
Nines are Stuck and unsure how to get out of auto-pilot, unsure why you can’t achieve your goals or finish anything you set your mind to. Feeling overwhelmed, which then leads to sluggishness and procrastination. Being so adaptable in personality, I forget myself and become what other people need me to be. What do I really want? What is my priority? I need everyone to be at peace with me. I need to be at peace with myself. I can be on autopilot and work too hard or not work at all.
Since identifying these pitfalls, I’ve really been asking how I can move in a healthy direction away from them.
Enneagram nines, Can I tell you what it feels like NOT to be on autopilot? It feels like being alive. Can I tell you what it feels like to achieve my goals and finish tasks? It’s hard to do, but it feels SO good. Can I tell you what it feels like to know how to overcome overwhelm? It doesn’t feel like procrastinating, that’s for sure.
What I do to stay healthy:
I consider what a healthy Enneagram 9 looks like.
An Enneagram 9 is actually quite healthy when we look more like enneagram 3’s, seeking and achieving our goals, considering who we are and what we want. So, we have to do the work to figure those things out.
We struggle to remember who we are, what our purpose is, why we wake up and work. We numb ourselves when things in life or work get hard. We stop thinking intentionally, critically, and sometimes even emotionally (so we can avoid uncomfortable feeling or anger). When we take time every day (even many times throughout the day) to remember who, what, and why — we can begin to move forward.
Side Note: Not only was it helpful to understand an Enneagram 3 and what it looks like to move there in health— it was also helpful for me to know when I’m stressed I move into Enneagram 6 territory— I begin to have illogical fears and am frozen with anxiety. Knowing this helps me consider whether or not I’m spiraling.
I wrote up my Mantra.
How do we find out our who, what, why? I started by journaling out who I am, who I WANT to be (which is hard for 9’s, because we have to consider this and really ask ourselves what we want—not necessarily what others, family, bosses, or culture want for us), what I hope to do in this life (this week, this month, this year, in the next five years), and how I want to mentally approach every day.
And, if you’re visual like me, you have to really type up or write out your “who, what, and why” and post them where you can continually review them— or else you lose focus or forget what your’e moving toward.
Personally, my mantra is made up of many quotes from enneagram books, verses, and inspirational quotes that apply to my struggles. These are printed out and placed on top of my planner every night, so when I wake up in the morning I don’t just auto pilot into aimless work, but am forced to consider who I am, what I want, and what my aim is for the day.
Read your mantra every day.
Maybe every day seems excessive? And some days you’ll want to give into that chill aimless Nineness and enjoy it. And that’s okay. But for days you’re hoping to get things done, start with your mantra. Let it ground you and remind you of where you’re headed and why you’re headed there.
Sometimes, I need to just walk outside, find a quiet space, and connect with myself. And go through my questions— who am I? What am I feeling? Is what I’m doing on task? Is what I’m doing in line with my goals and purpose?
And every now and then, I listen to this song to remind me of the hope I have in moving forward as an Enneagram 9.