I was living what felt like a passive life— letting life go by while I watched it, hoping to wake up to it enough to live it, but just couldn’t figure out how. There was so much I wanted to do, but it all felt out of reach. And that is what I like to

I have the delusional privilege of being a self-employed recovering procrastinator (this means I have very little external motivators— like a boss or co-workers), but I really do believe this post pertains to all you sexy recovering procrastinators out there, whether you’re self-employed or not.

A few years ago, I read the enneagram book (are we still talking about the Enneagram?), The Road Back to You, and diagnosed myself as an Enneagram 9 (it’s okay if you don’t know what that means I’ll let ya know).

After reading that book—my world all of a sudden shifted into a new clearer perspective and it felt like someone had opened me up and put me on the page, understanding me better than I understood myself. Almost every struggle I’ve had since I was a kid was put into perspective in a matter of pages.

To find out you’re an Enneagram 9, is to find out you’ve struggled with being awake to your life. Life seems to move passively whether you want it to or not.

Like many Americans, I was in school for almost 20 years starting as a child, and I was stuck in very confusing lethargic sloth-like cycles as a student- full of procrastination. And not surprisingly, when I got into the real world and had my big girl job, I continued to struggle with these lethargic cycles. Putting off projects until last minute, getting distracted by literally anything, and getting so overwhelmed by projects I put them off or failed them miserably because I was too scared of how overwhelming they felt. There were dreams, projects, and ideas I dreamed up for my life that felt far away and out of reach.

I was living what felt like a passive life— letting life go by while I watched it, hoping to wake up to it enough to live it, but just couldn’t figure out how. There was so much I wanted to do, but it all felt out of reach. And that is what I like to call— being stuck.

I felt so seen once I diagnosed myself (also recently I’ve been in the process to test ADHD as I believe it is also something I have struggled with undiagnosed for most of my life). And then the real work began- how do I wake up from living life passively and always feeling behind?

1. I acknowledge my habitual cyclic tendency to want to approach life like a sloth (if that’s something you resonate with, I recommend looking into what it means to be an Enneagram 9).

2. I create a clear vision for who I want to be and what I want to do. For me, that often means planning my days out very specifically or else I will feel overwhelmed with all there is to do or I will forget what my aim is and lose motivation to do anything.

3.Every year since I found out I’m an Enneagram 9, I’ve written out daily truths about myself. Enneagram 9’s… we can be forgetful about who we are, what’s true about us, and how we really want to live. Just like many people find speaking intentions every day is helpful to their showing up, reading what’s true about me is especially important. I wanted to share a few Truths that have helped me as well as a few questions I ask myself every day to really help my brain remember who I am and where I want to be headed:

Daily Truths I read every morning to Remind Myself to LIVE life and not idly let it pass me by:

1. I live deeply, thoughtfully, honestly, and intentionally.

2. Because I deal with imposter syndrom: I belong in the room I’m in.

3. Every feeling I have is floating on a sea of beliefs- what am I feeling today?

4. If a task today feels hard, maybe because it’s new to me.

5. There is a divine plan and goodness for me and my work.

6. Lyrics from the Enneagram 9 song by Sleeping At Last: “Wake up, fallin love again. Wake up, Rolle up your sleeves. Wage War on Gravity. Show me what to do to restart this heart of mine.

7. If I’m groggy, have brain fog, or need to find energy today I can have a two song dance party, do dishes, set a timer and do a 10 minute tidy, make tea, hang up my clothes. If I need energy or a break, I will not get on my phone or watch a show.

Questions I ask myself everyday as a Recovering Procrastinator:

1. What do you want to be most proud of at the end of this week?

2. What do you want to be most proud of at the end of today?

3. What might you want to do some day as a result of today?